Inhaltsverzeichnis für Mar/Apr 2023 in Fairlady

I think Louise Perry’s story on women being betrayed by a culture of porn gone wild (page 24) is fascinating, not least because I could feel my mind changing as I read it. My instinctive position is to baulk at the idea that attitudes towards the act of sex are informed by the sex you are, but by the end of it I was questioning myself as to why that is. I read a while ago that an increasing number of young women were choosing to become nuns, and I thought then what an anomaly it was to choose a highly regulated, contemplative life in a world that values neither quality (unless the contemplation is directed squarely at your own navel). Perry’s much smarter view is that, far from being…

Bedside manner About nine years ago, during my DIY phase, I bought a set of bedside tables and painted them. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but to be honest it was a disaster from the get-go: the drawer was so small that you could barely fit anything in there, and the paint made it even harder to open. It’s been bugging me for nine years. So when I spotted these locally made beauts on Instagram, I knew the time had come – they had to go. Now, two Baileys have pride of place in my bedroom and I just love the detailing, from the reeded glass door right down to the Scandinavian-inspired spun wooden feet. Bailey bedside table (R2500) Coal Interiors – Liesl Care package Every…

Hugh Hefner and Marilyn Monroe, those two icons of the sexual revolution, never met, but they were born in the same year and laid to rest in the same place, side by side. In 1992, Hefner bought the crypt next to Monroe’s in the Westwood Memorial Park Cemetery in Los Angeles for $75000, telling the Los Angeles Times, ‘I’m a believer in things symbolic… [so] spending eternity next to Marilyn is too sweet to pass up.’ At the age of 91, Hefner got his wish. The long-dead Monroe had no say in the matter. But then she never had much say in what men did to her over the course of her short life. Marilyn Monroe was both the first cover star and the first naked centre-fold in the first…

It’s a romantic concept: the idea that your gut feeling will inevitably guide you down the right path. And it’s how most of us make decisions, regardless of how logical we think we are. ‘We might consult some friends, family members or self-proclaimed gurus. We might read some advice that isn’t based on much. We might squint at some very basic facts. Then, we will do what feels right.’ But, says Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, your gut is very often leading you astray. And he’s got the data to back it up. ‘You can make better life decisions. Big Data can help you,’ reads the opening sentence of Seth’s book Don’t Trust Your Gut: Using Data Instead of Instinct to Make Better Choices. Take a second and reread that first line. Did…

THE SIGNS WERE ALWAYS THERE I was giving Danielle* a bath when she told me, ‘Mom, I feel like a girl.’ She was 5 years old, and she had a boy’s body. Later, I found out she’d said the same thing to my mother on a different occasion. She’d always gravitated towards girls’ toys, and loved to play with girls, not boys. Her father – who lived separately and with whom I shared custody – thought it was unhealthy and asked me to stop allowing her to play with Barbie dolls. I ignored him, of course – what was the harm? Over time, I thought perhaps she might grow up to be gay; I didn’t think much beyond that. But things began to change around puberty. She began to behave…

"Part of the fear around Alzheimer’s stems from the sense that there’s nothing we can do about it. IT happens to all of us. You’re in the middle of telling a friend about the Netflix show you watched last week, and all of a sudden you cannot, for the life of you, remember the name of the lead actress starring in it. Kate? Caroline? It’s right there on the tip of your tongue, and yet, somehow… nothing. So you torture yourself for hours, stubbornly refusing to give in and Google it because, ‘It will come to me.’ Usually, at about 3am, you’ll suddenly sit bolt upright, and shout, ‘Katherine Heigl!’ (Waking your partner to share the happy news, by the way, is a bad idea. No one else is as…

❛It’s crazy. The older kids are selling vapes to younger kids in school. At the beginning of the year, we received a letter from the school saying they were aware of the problem, and would expel any students found to be selling them.❜ ❛Please can anyone share [sic] some light on how to help my 15-year-old who has started vaping in the beginning of last year and now cannot seem to quit, even though she no longer wants to vape.❜ ❛Tips on how to help your teen quit vaping? Started three months ago and now addicted.❜ ❛I am feeling overwhelmed… My youngest, 13, is vaping.❜ ❛My 16-year-old just told me she’s been vaping for the past 4 months…❜ ❛I don’t know who to turn to… I recently found out my…

There’s a reason ‘the reading of the will’ is such a well-loved movie plot point: a will, or the lack of one, can cause endless drama. Which is great in a cinema setting, but less so when it’s your family that’s left in the lurch. WHY YOU NEED A WILL You’re accumulating possessions all the time, and a will allows you to say what should happen to them after your death. Dying without a will means you die intestate and your assets will be distributed according to the Intestate Succession Act. This is done according to a rigid pecking order, starting with your surviving spouse, children, parents or siblings. If there’s no spouse or children, your assets are given to your parents, aunts and uncles, siblings or the nearest relative.…

Frilled to bits With a dress this fun, feminine and frilly, it’s best to keep your accessories to a minimum. We stuck to the neutral colour palette with tan sandals and chandelier shell earrings. Perennial favourite Demure yet modern… You don’t need to add much to this dress with its hand-drawn print that celebrates African women. The one-of-a-kind print and prim detailing do all the heavy lifting for you. Hop, skip &ajumpsuit We love the detailing on this effortless all-in-one piece, from the delicate puffed sleeves to the frilly insets on the shoulders and at the hems. And it has pockets! Perfect for when you need to be a bit dressy but you don’t feel like wearing a dress. With apparent ease A relaxed kaftan dress is perfect for the…

CREATION RESERVE CHARDONNAY 2021, R345 A beautiful autumn wine, this new-style Chardonnay has a lovely gold colour and is perfectly controlled and well balanced. It has a touch of straw on the nose. The panel loved it. CREATION RESERVE PINOT NOIR 2021, R395 This deeply satisfying wine is a revelation. The colour of garnets, it’s slightly peppery and has hints of cranberry, making it delicate yet juicy. It was silky smooth, too. A really top-notch Pinot Noir. SPOOKFONTEIN MERLOT 2021, R150 This is a delicious Merlot. Not too fruit-heavy, it’s well balanced, and it has great mouth-feel. There’s a hint of dark chocolate in the bouquet and it’s pleasingly dry, which we enjoyed. BOUCHARD FINLAYSON HANNIBAL 2020, R399 We tasted the 2019 vintage of this justifiably famous blend, which is…

Sonja & Rheinholdt van In + Katie (8), Kaden (6), and twins Kayla & Karlien (3) when Rheinholdt van In arrived home from work one Wednesday in mid-2019, his wife Sonja greeted him with eyes ablaze: ‘We have to buy a double-decker bus!’ Having given birth to twins, Sonja was on maternity leave and had been feeling dejected. ‘We’ve always loved travelling. Before we had kids, we’d always do an overseas trip for our anniversary, and local trips throughout the year. When our first child was born, we decided we would stop travelling, and that when our second child was two, we’d start again. Everything went according to plan: we had our daughter, Katie, and then our son, Kaden, and when Kaden was two, we took a trip to Bali.’…

The first robotic surgery in the South African state sector was performed at Tygerberg Hospital in February 2022 by Dr Tim Forgan, a general and colorectal surgeon. Just two months later, Dr Farzana Cassim got her turn. She is a urologist and urogynaecologist at Tygerberg Hospital, and one of a small number of South African surgeons who have been trained in robot-assisted laparoscopic surgery. ‘It’s the evolution of surgery,’ Farzana says. ‘Before, we would cut everything open. Then there was laparoscopy, or keyhole surgery – making a small cut and working with cameras. Now, it’s robot-assisted surgery, which also involves a small cut and working with a camera, but it’s a different system. With a laparoscopy, we have instruments that look like long, straight sticks, and working with them is…

One hour by train from Florence (although the two cities have along-standing feud so it may as well be in a different country), four hours from Venice and three from Rome, Siena is very easy to reach from wherever you are in Italy – which makes it an absolute must-visit to add to your Italian itinerary. The small citadel sits on top of a mountain right in the middle of Tuscany; the old city within 7km of fortified wall; the bustling modern city just outside. Most tourists in Siena are day-trippers (they arrive at about 10am and leave at about 6pm), so it can get quite crowded in the middle of the day – and that’s why it’s a good idea to stay in the old city if you can:…

1 Robe curls Your mom will roll her eyes and tell you that rag curls are hardly new, but TikTok’s latest beauty trend has a new iteration of this time-tested classic, and it involves your bathrobe tie (or a pair of leggings). I know, it sounds ridiculous, but dammit, the results are compelling enough to make it worth a shot. Here’s how it works. Make sure your hair is just slightly damp, and maybe spritz in a bit of sea salt spray or texturising spray if your hair struggles to hold a curl. Part your hair down the middle, place the tie over your head like a headband (secure it at the top with a clip) and then start wrapping sections (away from your face) around the length of it,…

Mad Honey BY JODI PICOULT & JENNIFER FINNEY BOYLAN When her son was just six, Olivia fled her abusive marriage to go back home and take over the family beekeeping business. Today, their lives are mostly trouble-free: Asher, now a six-foot-tall teenager, is in his last year of high school and dating the new girl, Lily. But all that changes when Olivia gets a phone call. Lily is dead and Asher has been arrested for her murder. As the case unfolds, Olivia starts to question what secrets Asher is keeping from her – and whether he may be more like his father than she thought. I must confess I’d never read a book by Jodi Picoult before, but after Mad Honey I’ll be adding the previous works by her and…

WE TESTED HOME SECURITY CAMERAS SOME FEATURES EXPLAINED ◗ Wide dynamic range (WDR): This technology improves a camera’s image quality under high-contrast lighting conditions where both dimly and brightly lit areas are present in the field of view. It enables the camera to capture details clearly in both the poorly and strongly illuminated areas of the video. ◗ High dynamic range (HDR): An HDR image is usually obtained by capturing three images of the same scene, each at a different shutter speed. The result is a bright, medium and dark image, depending on the amount of light that got through the lens. The image sensor then combines the photos into one image. ◗ Digital noise reduction (DNR): An image-processing technique that aims to eliminate visible noise from an image. ◗…

ACROSS DOWN Win! You could win one of four book hampers, each worth R610, courtesy of NB Publishers! CLOSING DATE: 21 APRIL 2023 How to Steal a Gold Mine by Dianne Hawke A journalist delves into how the politically connected Aurora Empowerment Systems took over the Pamodzi Gold mines – and then made illicit payments, failed to pay workers and suppliers, and stripped the mines of assets. Learn the Property Game by Koketso Sylvia Milosevic ‘An ordinary girl from Ga-Rankuwa’ reveals how she built her property portfolio. She gives advice on how to attract angel investors and elicit crowd-funding, among other tactics, to grow a business. The solution to Brainteaser 183 is on the opposite page. Turn to page 184 for entry details and winners’ names.…

Do you need more than a bimonthly fix of FAIRLADY? If your answer is a resounding YES, we have just what you need. Our weekly newsletter – delivered directly to your inbox – will help you stay in the know. Here’s what you can expect every month: WEEK 1 Be part of the FAIRLADY book club for the ultimate good-read guide and the wine you need to sip on, book in hand. WEEK 2 Take a peek at the stories we can’t stop talking about. WEEK 3 Read our reviews of products we’ve given the once-over in Test House to help you choose items that suit your needs and your pocket. WEEK 4 Get the lowdown on the fashion and beauty picks we’re adding to our carts right now. We’re also launching our travel newsletter…

Long-term relationships inevitably have their ups and downs, but couples will be much happier if they have an understanding of what they need from each other and themselves. That’s according to psychotherapist Charlotte Fox Weber, who has been counselling couples and individuals for 11 years. In a new book, What We Want: A Journey Through Twelve of Our Deepest Desires, she says that understanding what we want helps us to make good choices – in life and in love. Here is her advice for long-term couples. 1 1 When did you last hold eye contact? Remember, a lack of attention can lead to affairs Giving and getting attention is fundamental to feeling cared for, yet long-term couples can often get complacent or simply forget to pay attention to each other,…

5 international podcasts 1. Trace Evidence: ‘One of the first pods I ever listened to; I love the victim-focused style.’ 2. Something Was Wrong: ‘Exposes narcissistic abuse in various types of relationships.’ 3. Is This Actually Happening: ‘Real-life stories of strange situations!’ 4. Real Crime Profile: ‘Really good, with a professional victim-focused style.’ 5. A Little Bit Culty: ‘Exposés of all types of cults.’ 5 (+1) local podcasts 1. Profiler: ‘Super-interesting first-hand experience true crime from clinical psychologist Dr Gérard Labuschagne.’ 2. It Happened Here: ‘Kate is a phenomenal storyteller.’ 3. Decoding Cults: ‘Pauline is very passionate and knowledgeable about cults in SA and overseas.’ 4. A Crime Most Queer: ‘NJ sheds light on crimes in the LGBTQ+ community.’ 5. Wicked Crimes South Africa: ‘Jan talks about crimes that are so often classed as occult-related.’ 6. Shhh, Look…

perched on a rocky headland, overlooking the gorgeous Southern Cape coast-line, is The Plettenberg, aptly known as the pearl of the iconic Liz McGrath Collection. This family-owned hotel, a proud member of Small Luxury Hotels of the World, recently nabbed a spot on the Condé Nast Traveler 2022 Readers’ Choice Awards as one of the top 15 hotels in South Africa. The second you walk through the door, you know why. They take their motto of ‘barefoot luxury’ seriously, right down to the carpets, which are hand-brushed instead of vacuumed to give them a ‘shell shine’. (Mrs M, as Liz McGrath was affectionately known, had high standards, which are still upheld.) It makes you want to kick off your shoes… On arrival, we are invited to taste some of the…

AS you get older, your skin’s needs change – sometimes dramatically. ‘Most women will enter perimenopause at about the age of 45, but this varies from person to person,’ says specialist dermatologist Dr Ian Webster, co-founder of Dermastore. ‘With the onset of perimenopause and menopause, there are hormonal changes that take place – most notably, the slow decline of the female hormone oestrogen. This in turn produces changes in a woman’s skin, and she will have to adapt her skincare routine to deal with these changes. The skin becomes thinner and more alkaline; there is increased transepidermal water loss, leading to dry skin; there is less collagen and elastin in the dermis; and there is flushing and possible acne breakouts.’ So this is probably why the day cream and the…

Dining Rock that roll Saigon Suzy – with a branch in Cedar Square, Fourways, and another in Parkwood Mansions, Rosebank – is a self-described Pan-Asian BBQ & rock ’n’ roll bar that serves Asian-inspired street food and cocktails in a casual food-market-style setting. Think noodles, traditional Vietnamese food, woks and bowls. The ceiling is decorated with pretty parasols, and the back of the restaurant leads out to a garden where you can enjoy a meal on the terrace. The atmosphere is vibey and the private karaoke pods promise plenty of fun. saigonsuzy.co.za Fusion & flair Just Teddy Fine Boulangerie & Pâtisserie is known for its luxe café dining and opulent afternoon teas. The store concept is inspired by Dubai decadence – and the menu combines Parisian and Middle Eastern flavours…

Irish cities Cavan Clare Cork Donegal Down Dublin Galway Kerry Kildare Kilkenny Leitrim Limerick Mayo Sligo Tipperary Wexford Wicklow 1 Scarlet letters Bloody Carmine Cerise Cherry Claret Crimson Magenta Maroon Reddish Rose Rouge Rubicund Ruby Ruddy 2 African musicians AKA Clegg Dibango Dube Fassie Keita Kidjo Mafikizolo Makeba Malope Masekela Masuka Sangare Zahara 3 Idioms and animals Have ___ in your pants Kill two ____ with one stone Take the ___ by the horns Let the ___ out the bag Every ___ has its day The ___ in the room Like a ___ out of water Wouldn’t hurt a ____ That really gets my ___ Wild ___ chase Put the cart before the ___ Watch like a ____ Mad as a ____ One-trick ___ Quit cold ____ ___ out of…