Globe August 16, 2021

OH, LARDY! Doughy PETE DOHERTY has ditched drugs, but it looks like the roly-poly rocker has picked up a new habit — stuffing his face! OLD BALDY No amount of bushy beard can distract from CHRISTOPHER MELONI’s shiny chrome dome HAIRY SITUATION There’s no polishing up HELENA BONHAM CARTER — The Crown actress is still a royal mess! WHAT A DIS-ASS-STER! CHARLIZE THERON’s modesty is gone with the wind as a breeze bares her butt! WHEELY DUMB Daredevil dancer SASHA FARBER shows off some fancy footwork — but the DWTS head case should’ve worn a helmet STOUT & ABOUT Someone needs to tell chatfest chubster KELLY CLARKSON that chewing the fat is just an expression! But we suspect she finds her new court-ordered $195,000 MONTHLY support payments to her estranged hubby…

THE big celeb splash at the Tokyo Olympics came when Monaco’s skirt-chasing Prince Albert showed up at swimming events alone, his second public snub by wife Charlene! As GLOBE previously reported, the 43-year-old blonde gave the cold shoulder to her balding 63-year-old hubby on July 1, their tenth wedding anniversary, holing up in her native South Africa, where she reportedly intends to remain. But there’s a kicker to the Tokyo tackiness: If anyone would have wanted to attend swim events, it would have been Charlene, who raced backstroke for South Africa’s team at the 2000 Olympics around when Albert met her. While Albert was in the stands, Charlene posted a dig at the ladies’ man by thanking her “dear friend Alouise … for remembering our wedding song. With all my…

JENNIFER LOPEZ and her new-again love machine Ben Affleck narrowly dodged a horrifying incident — an embarrassing run-in with her cast-off fiancé Alex Rodriguez — thanks to an aide’s quick thinking, spies say. J.Lo’s assistant went ahead to check out the ritzy French Riviera eatery, Bagatelle St. Tropez, where her 52-year-old boss and hunky Ben were planning to lunch. But when she arrived, the aide was stunned to see former New York Yankees slugger A-Rod, 46, gobbling away at a table with blond babe Melanie Collins, a 35-year-old NFL sportscaster. “J.Lo had made a reservation at the same restaurant, the same day,” dishes an insider. “Her assistant alerted J.Lo and the reservation was quickly canceled.” The blunder would have been extra humiliating for the Hustlers actress. Besides being nearly two…

AFTER being allowed to hire her own lawyer, pop princess Britney Spears has come out firing — accusing her conservator dad of leaching off her $60 million fortune and paying himself a bigger allowance than she gets! According to her July 26 court filing, Jamie Spears, who’s been her conservator since 2008, collects $16,000 a month — $2,000 MORE than he gives the Oops! I Did It Again singer! He’s also taking another $2,000 a month from her bank account for office expenses, the star charges. According to her new legal eagle Mathew Rosengart, Jamie snared an “estimated $2.1 million” from her Las Vegas concerts and another $500Gs from her 2011 Femme Fatale Tour. “Although it is common for managers, agents and other industry professionals to receive a percentage of an…

WEALTHY Manhattan surgeon Han Jo Kim quietly settled his divorce from former beauty queen wife Regina Turner just hours after his lawsuit charging she led a secret double life as a high-priced hooker before — and after — their marriage exploded in public! While accusations by the spinal expert at New York’s Hospital for Special Surgery were very explicit, the details of his settlement with the 2011 Miss Connecticut USA are being kept under wraps. In his lawsuit, the scalpel-slinging medic reveals he kept Regina in style with his $3.2 million yearly salary, a $6 million Manhattan pad and a $2.5 million Long Island seaside shack. Meanwhile, the leggy babe was banking more than $100,000 a year in pin money on the sly with her hidden hooker hobby, his lawsuit…

GUITARIST Gary Rossington will continue to be the “last living original member” of the hit Southern rock group Lynyrd Skynyrd after surviving emergency heart surgery. The 69-year-old strummer, whose hits include Sweet Home Alabama, expects a “full recovery,” while the band with newer members continues to perform with his blessing. The picker suffered a heart attack in 2015 and underwent a heart valve repair in 2019.…