Table of contents for 1/22/2020 in Move!

MEN AND THEIR PROBLEMS “Indoda kayikhali” is a Zulu proverb that means“men don’t cry”. In fact, men should rather speak up and be open about their problems. Traditionally the man is the head of the house, but isn’t a woman the neck that helps that head to turn? In essence, we need women to help us in whatever we try to achieve and to help us realise our dreams. This demonstrates their significant importance in our lives. I’m not encouraging women to flood educational institutions to get qualifications and neglect their wifely duties. “Umuzi wakhiwa umfazi mosadi ke lelapa.” Men must understand that times have changed and that today’s women claim their slice of the cake in our fiercely-fought democracy. Men mustn’t see them as threats, but as achievers and…

WHEN she hung up her ballet pumps and pirouetted into the public eye as a TV presenter, she didn’t for a minute think she’d end up working with pots and pans. Yet celebrity chef Lorna Maseko is on fire. The 36-year-old has been on a whirlwind international tour to promote her first cookbook, Celebrate with Lorna Maseko, she explains when she arrives at our offices a few minutes late for our interview. “Sorry I’m late, mo’ghel. I couldn’t  find my car keys then had to take another car. But when duty calls, gwa Iwa.” Lorna, along with her celeb bestie Bonang Matheba and Bonang’s cousin Pinkygirl, came up with the phrases “gwa Iwa” (let’s go) and “mo’ghel” (girl) on Being Bonang. When she suddenly disappeared after being a regular in…

FOR the longest time he was mocked and called “Oros” because of the extra weight around his waist. That’s why many were shocked when an image of a sleek, leaner-looking Collen Maine emerged on Twitter. Gone was the so-called Oros man – his big boep and neck fat melted away seemingly overnight.“Has comrade Collen Oros Maine started banting?” one social-media user asked. Yes, he’s on a healthier diet, he confirms, but the former ANC Youth League president also went underwent a weight-loss procedure. “As a leader you get called names, but I didn’t do this procedure because of that. I did it because of health reasons,” Collen tells us when we catch up with him at The Maslow Time Square hotel in Pretoria. SURGERY SURPRISE The procedure he underwent –…

BRAAIED SNOEK WITH THYME BREAD SERVES 4 PREPARATION: 30 MIN RISING: 30 MIN BRAAIING: 20 MIN THYME BREAD ■ 1kg readymade bread dough, at room temperature ■ 30ml (2T) dried thyme ■ flour for sprinkling SNOEK ■ 1 small snoek, butterflied ■ 30ml (2T) butter, melted ■ 30ml (2T) mayonnaise ■ 45ml (3T) apricot jam ■ 2 garlic cloves, crushed ■ grated zest of 1 lemon and 15ml (1T) lemon juice ■ salt and pepper TO SERVE ■ butter ■ lemon wedges Line one side of a folding braai grid with foil. Grease with nonstick spray. 1 Bread Put the dough on a floured surface and knead the thyme into it. Break into 8 equal pieces and roll into balls. Sprinkle flour over, cover with a tea towel and leave…

Mama Madikgetla is a registered social worker in private practice. She provides counselling to individuals, couples and families. She holds a Bachelor of Social Work and an honours degree in psychology, and is pursuing a master’s degree in social work. Q TEACHER’S HITTING ON ME I’m in Grade 10. I think one of my teachers is a lesbian and has feelings for me and other girls in my class. She’s made comments about our“sexy”legs and breasts. I didn’t take it seriously until she started becoming physical with me. Once when I was in detention she rubbed my thighs to“warm me”because the room was cold. I pushed her hand away in shock. I don’t know what to do. SHOCKED, EMAIL A I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through at the…

ANDILE* and Portia* had been married for 12 years. They had a good home, two kids and successful careers. Their sex life, Portia thought, was okay. “But last night while we were in bed,”she told her best friend Zanele*, “he suddenly asked me to get a Brazilian wax. I’ve never shaved down there and was shocked. I thought he liked me natural.” Zanele shook her head disapprovingly. She was with Portia on this one. “How does he even know about Brazilian waxes? Do you think he’s been going to strip clubs or something?” “I don’t know,” Portia said, sighing. “He’s been on the net a lot lately. Maybe he’s been secretly watching porn. Or maybe . . .” – now she looked really worried – “maybe he’s having an affair!”…

“It sounds like you were in a happy and satisfying relationship and it’s a real pity that things have ended,” says Johannesburg-based psychologist Noxolo Khoza. “Are you still in touch with your ex? Moving across the world does not have to put an end to what existed between the two of you, especially if you felt strongly about each other. It could still work but it would demand serious commitment and a plan to see each other in the near future. “There’s nothing wrong with you hoping to meet another white guy. People have different interests and attractions and that is completely normal. Your friends should know you well, but this does not make it okay for them to judge your choices. Are you bothered by the comments they make?…

MOTSHIDISI MAROPE Aunty, you’re wasting your time. The guy is enjoying what you’re offering him. It’s so shameful to see that there are women your age doing that to other women. Put yourself in her shoes. You’re ruining someone’s marriage. MALAKE NGWANA WA KGALAKE Every cheating married man says he’ll leave his wife. God will never bless you with someone else’s husband. Don’t let him use you, and work on your self-esteem. You’ll self-destruct unless you do something about it. TUMELO DLAMINI My sister, quick question – are you there for love or other things? Also, let’s say he divorces his wife and starts a new life with you – how sure are you that in future he won’t do the same thing he did to his ex-wife to you?…

Mpho’s top five tips for staying motivated to reach your goals. ■ YOLO Yes, you only live once. But you could live until you’re 100 or more. Think about what you want the rest of your days to look like. Remember, the decisions you take today impact your future. Don’t let bad decisions define your tomorrow. ■ Always be your most authentic self There will be times when you feel pressured to do something you don’t want to, to fit in with friends or trends. Unfortunately, when people see this they’ll use it to define you. Live life by being your true self. ■ Be grateful Count your blessings instead of moaning about what you don’t have. Appreciate what you have and turn it into what you want in life.…

Don’t give out private information, such as your ID number, physical address and banking details to strangers. If you decide to meet, do so in a public place. Also, tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Always trust your instincts. Don’t assume that the person is who they say they are. It’s easy to pretend or provide false information over the phone or online. DISCLAIMER Move! magazine will not be held responsible/liable for anything that may arise with regard to readers providing each other with personal information. We advise participants to protect themselves from any criminal intent/activity.…

YOU’VE just passed matric and you have no idea what’s next. Maybe you didn’t pass as well as you wanted to, or your parents don’t have the money to pay for university and NSFAS hasn’t replied to your request for funding yet. All in all, you’re in limbo and time is running out – at least in your head. Don’t despair. Your time will come. I spent a few years out of school after I passed matric due to lack of funding. I didn’t know anything about NSFAS at the time. I decided to try to improve my maths results, and I sold Justine products for a bit. I thought it was the end of the world. My high school friends were moving on and up with their lives and…

A SAFE SPACE The ladies say Pretty Club has become a safe space for them. “Get together with whoever you can and be yourself,” Nomali says. “Most women have problems and often don’t know who to turn to. If you have the luxury of having someone, turn it into something.” Although the members believe it’s safe to form a club with people they know, they also face challenges– especially around contributions being paid on time. Sometimes a member might say they don’t have enough money, which delays their contribution. “Sometimes people make excuses after getting money,” Nomali says. Because there are only 12 months in a year, Pretty Club has restricted its membership to 12 people, as more members would complicate the contributions. A new member is allowed only if…

Sleep apnoea causes a person to stop breathing during their sleep. This is usually triggered by an obstruction of the airway, which can be due to swollen tonsils, although that is more common in children than adults. Other causes include nose or sinus problems; being overweight, as fat that accumulates in the neck can obstruct breathing; or even your natural anatomy, including the size of your tongue and the opening of your windpipe, as well as the shape of your head and neck. Untreated sleep apnoea can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes. For overweight people, losing 10% of their weight may rid them of the condition completely. SOURCES: NPR.ORG, SLEEPFOUNDATION.ORG, WEBMD.COM, VERYWELLHEALTH.COM…

1 Herman Mashaba’s platform where South Africans can share their thoughts on the country is called . . .? A United Together B Our Voice C The People’s Dialogue D Open Platform 2 Which drug was originally marketed as a non-addictive substitute to morphine? A Meth B Cocaine C Mandrax D Heroin 3 The ancient city of Pompeii was destroyed by the eruption of which volcano? A Mount Etna B Mount Vesuvius C Mount Fuji D Mount St Helens 4 Who was the most-streamed local artist in South Africa last year? A DJ Black Coffee B Kabza De Small C Sho Madjozi D Lady Zamar 5 What was the most-tweeted-about show in 2019? A Game of Thrones B Miss Universe C Stranger Things D Grey’s Anatomy 6 Soccer superstar Lionel…

■ Don’t keep your razor in the shower as the humidity may cause it to rust, irritating your skin. ■ Always clean and dry your razor after use. ■ To avoid razor burn, go over an area only once. ■ Throw blunt razors away. ■ Regularly replace the batteries in your electric razor so that it functions optimally. ■ Clean and sterilise the razor or clipper of the electric shaver to avoid bacteria and build-up. ■ Throw out expired hair removal creams. ■ Don’t leave hair removal cream in direct sunlight. ■ If you’re new to waxing, start with wax strips. If you get the hang of it, then move on to hot wax.…

I RECEIVED a letter that read: “I am an unhappy woman who is HIV-positive and on ARVs. I sometimes hate to take my treatment because it changes my body shape. I’ve lost my confidence. Is there any help I can get to reverse lipodystrophy?” So, let’s take a closer look at what causes this condition and how it can be dealt with. WHAT IS IT? Lipodystrophy is a problem with the way your body uses and stores fat. It often affects the fat that’s just under your skin, so it can change the way you look. Fat often accumulates in the upper back, abdominal area and breasts. And fat loss can also occur in the face, bum, arms and legs. ‘THERE IS EVIDENCE THAT HIV CAN TRIGGER THE CONDITION’ LIPODYSTROPHY…

‘MY WIFE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A POLICEMAN WHO PUT ME IN PRISON’ Q FALSE FINAL WARNING I’m on suspension from work after a manager faked a final written warning against me. It stated that I refused to sign, but I honestly don’t know about the warning and the date it was issued as I was working at another branch. I want to sue the person who faked the warning for loss of two months’ income. I don’t have money for a lawyer. I also want my employer to take action – it’s not the first time this manager has falsified documents. ANONYMOUS, EMAIL A Because this is a labour-related matter, you can’t sue the person. You can write a letter of grievance to your employers explaining what happened and…

1 A young, good-looking single woman has started working at your place of employment. She is attracted to you, so how would you handle the situation? A Once you have established that she isn’t a potential spurned lover, you’ll be happy to have an affair with her. B You would give your ego a boost by flirting with her in a harmless, meaningless way. C You would keep the relationship on a strictly professional basis. 2 An old girlfriend of yours returns to town and calls to meet you. Her tone makes it evident that she wants more than a chat over coffee. What do you do? A Make sure you’re wearing your sexiest underwear when you meet her. B Turn up to the meeting with your partner. C Refuse…

Isidingo will be on-air for just a few months more as it’s been cancelled due to low ratings – and fans aren’t happy. Move! readers have their say. I’m going to miss Sotobe. It’s the only SA soapie that’s relevant and current and addresses pressing issues. It’s had scenes about Nomahelele, Zozi, Mama Winnie, miners killed, women abusers, state capture, xenophobic attacks, elections, loadshedding and the Rugby World Cup. AYABONGA YONELA SIBULALI It’s a shame that we watch American documentaries but our proudly SA shows have to fight to be on-air. Rubbish. We won’t entertain that. #isidingo our show. Where can we sign a petition to save Isidingo? MMATSHEKO MAJA They need to give that prime-time slot on SABC1 to Isidingo and cancel this fake Generations. Its time is done,…

THEY stare into each other’s eyes before saying the magic words: “I do”. The love between Isidingo’s Sechaba and Phindile is clear for all to see. It might have taken them a while to get to their happy ending, but they’re more than excited about the day. The cast and crew of the weekday soapie gladly traded their everyday garb for fancy designer clothes to attend the wedding of the year. After all, Horizon Deep’s mayor is getting married. And it’s all glitz and glam. Move! takes you inside the festivities. THE LOVEBIRDS Motlatsi Mafatshe is so happy Sechaba, the character he’s been playing since 2009, has found love again. Sechaba was previously married to Lerato (Tema Sebopedi) who’s no longer in the show. Many viewers could relate to their…

FAME was never part of the plan for the duo. In fact, MFR Souls are still getting used to the idea of being in the spotlight and having eyes on them all the time. Tumelo “Maero“ Nedondwe and Tumelo “Force” Mabe’s lives have changed since their single Love You Tonight came out in October. The video has had more than 1,7 million views  on YouTube to date. Since then they’ve been in demand, going from gigs to interviews to more gigs. The two were forced to slow down after they and manager Kombelani Khoza were involved in a horrific car during the festive season. “God is great, guys. I can’t believe we made it alive,” they posted alongside a picture of a damaged car. They’re now recovering at home. DYNAMIC…

HE CAN still remember making his first sneaker. He used the sole from a ripped shoe, some old denim and plastic materials from a used travelling bag. At the time he was living in a shack in Ivory Park, east of Johannesburg. Fast forward to more than a decade later. Limpopo-born entrepreneur Lekau Sehoana (31) now owns and runs shoe brand Drip and has built a home for his family. THE BEGINNING His family often had to choose between buying food and clothes, Lekau recalls. They always chose food and relied on clothing handouts from family and friends. He was forced to learn how to sew because some of the clothes given to him were twice his size. “So I learnt to trim them down.” He loved it when he…

‘BECAUSE OF ALL THE ANGER I HAD BOTTLED UP TOWARDS HIM, HE WAS ESSENTIALLY KILLING ME TOO’ IT WAS a bone-chilling sight: a man’s blackened body seated in a burnt-out minibus, his hands still clutching the steering wheel. For nine-year-old Candice Mama, seeing this picture changed her world forever. For years her mother tried to shield her from the truth of what happened to her father – but one glance at that gruesome shot said it all. Her father, Glenack Masilo Mama, had died a terrible death at the hands of Eugene de Kock, one of the most notorious men to come out of the apartheid era. The harrowing image caused Candice to sink into a depression that threatened to overwhelm her life until she realised there was only one…

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Another option is to go to a salon for laser hair removal. This involves using a laser to shine light on to the area. The pigment in the hair absorbs the light. The light energy is converted to heat, which damages the hair follicles (the hair-producing sacs in the skin), preventing hair from growing again. You’ll need a few sessions and depending on the technology, it can be almost completely painless, but it may cause a little swelling or redness. Even though laser hair removal techniques claim to be a permanent solution, this isn’t always the case. Certain people will experience regrowth – although the hairs are usually fewer and finer – and they’ll have to get touch-ups every now and then.…

AQUARIUS 21 JAN – 18 FEB The sun is in your sign, a great time to express your identity through word and deed. It’s a week to celebrate your uniqueness and live up to your own ideals. The week might have a surprise or two in store for you, whether it’s an unforeseen happening or exciting news. It’s a week to allow changes to come into your life. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 19, 1, 46, 34, 17, 48 PISCES 19 FEB – 20 MAR It’s a week where you could let your imagination run away with you, for better and for worse. Misguided illusions could land you in the hot water. However, channelled wisely, it could yield prolific results. It’s also a week to use your imagining productively. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS…

Dr Babalwa Funda kaMabhoza is an educational sexologist and businesswoman. She is a member of the Southern African Sexual Health Association (Sasha) and African Society for Sexual Medicine (ASSM). Q IS THE DAMAGE PERMANENT? I gave birth about four months ago. My perineum [the area between the anus and vagina] tore during birth. It’s healing naturally but I’m worried I might not be able to satisfy my partner and that it might be too big and loose down there. What can I do? NEW MOM, EMAIL A After childbirth, it’s advisable that you wait at least six weeks before engaging in vaginal sex. It’s also around this time that you should go for a medical check-up to ensure everything is healing well, and to give you an opportunity to ask…

I’m in my mid-forties. About eight months ago I fell in love with a married man. He never hid his marriage from me, but I simply couldn’t resist him. Not only is he my type, he has the qualities I need in a man – he’s caring, loving and provides for me. Our relationship is getting serious now, to the point where lately we’re talking about being together full-time. He says he’s not happy in his marriage and wants to leave her; that he’s there just for his children. It’s very hard for a woman my age to find just the right person, and I count myself lucky to have met him. I’m confused about how to proceed, because I really love the guy. – ANONYMOUS WHEN you choose to…

SHE’D been a straight-A student throughout her primary and high school careers. But that all changed when Mpho Motloung went to university. “I went from receiving most of my education in isiZulu to doing a BA with a triple major in economics, political science and international relations, with tuition in English,” she says. “My friends were no longer with me, I was in a big institution with lots of people and everything happened so fast. I went from being a top student to getting 30% for some of my assignments. The adjustment was just huge and I didn’t have any guidance. “I had to keep my head up, keep trying and learn how to cope in a new environment. It was tough, especially my first year. But I learnt what…

LOOKING FOR LOVE I am 30-year-old mom of two from KwaZulu-Natal. I’m looking for a matured, handsome, loving, honest guy between 32 and 40. He must be tall, not chubby and ready to do blood tests. He must be working or living in Durban or surrounding areas, a social drinker and a non-smoker. WhatsApp me on 063-983-0080 I am a 58-year-old lady looking for a Christian man aged 58 and above. I am based in Umtata. WhatsApp me on 073-500-7769 I’m a 33-year-old lady looking for a loving, honest and faithful guy between ages 40 and 45. He must have children and be HIVpositive. Contact me on 081-795-2954 I’m a 28-year-old man living in Jozi. I’m looking for a loving, caring woman. She must be between 20 and 25. If…

I WAS 19 years old when we met. He was in his early twenties, tall and handsome. We met at a public library when he offered to help me find the book I was looking for. He was smart and seemed to know about everything happening in the world. We discussed everything from feminism, patriarchy, politics and South African law. Our relationship thrived and soon we were no longer satisfied with being just friends. HIS OTHER SIDE Shortly after we entered into a romantic relationship, my life became an endless cycle of abusive highs and lows. It turned out he was an alcoholic who became violent when he was drunk, which was almost every day. My best friend begged me, with tears in her eyes, to get out of the…