Table of contents for June 2016 in Mindful

Are you a neat freak? If you haven’t used something in three years, where do you put it? 55% DONATE IT TO CHARITY, while 22% let it petrify at the bottom of a closet somewhere. 6% chuck it immediately—no need for drawn-out goodbyes! And 7% insist there’s a use for everything! Everyone else sells their stuff or puts it in storage. Who does most of the cleaning in your household? • “A little bit of everyone, but it usually falls on my husband because he is a neat freak. Poor guy.” • “I do. My two dogs refuse to assist.” • “I am a nun so we all do our share as members of a community.” What takes up the most room in your house? 31% FILL UP THE NOOKS…

mindful When a woman contacted online retailer Zulily to return a winter coat, they refunded her money and told her to donate the coat instead of returning it. Last year the Cochin International Airport in Southern India became the world’s first fully solar-powered airport. We know Twitter can be distracting and mindless, but Tweeters also detect earthquakes more quickly than the US Geological Survey, which is why it teamed up with the social media site to more efficiently and effectively monitor earthquakes. Ever heard of a “solidarity fridge?” No? That’s because the town of Galdakao, Spain, is the first to install one. To minimize food waste, citizens bring leftovers to an outdoor fridge and anyone can take from it. At the Human Library, the books are people! The global project,…

Sarah Susanka’s Not So Big movement began when she made a small change in her own home: She turned her attic into a space where she could be alone and do what she loved. At the time, that was mostly meditation. As she meditated, she says, “everything started to shift.” Susanka realized she wanted to write, and—in her private space—began work on her “Not So Big” series. Susanka included the idea of a personal room in the series, and dubbed it “A Place of Your Own,” or “Poyo.” A Poyo is meant to be a space that is a reflection of yourself, where you can be yourself. As you spend time in it, you learn about yourself. “It tends to wake up something inside you,” says Susanka. That process can…

It used to be when someone talked about being “at the office” they meant they were at an actual physical space. With the rise of workplace flexibility, global work teams, and technology to support a slew of telework options, “office” has become an elusive concept. The number of “mobile workers” in the US will reach 105 million by 2020, estimates market intelligence firm IDC. That means almost three-quarters of our workforce will find themselves with flexible office situations. It’s no wonder, then, that many Fortune 500 companies are committed to attracting and retaining employees by offering flexible work environments and promoting diverse work styles. Depending on what you do for a living and how you like to work, you will have your own unique definition of “office.” For some, office…

Editor-in-Chief barry@mindful.org Our must-read story this issue: “Telling Stories, Breaking Barriers” on the power of honest talk to heal deep wounds and bring us together. On page 54. We all just want to be happy, right? Yes, but… There is a hitch. If I’m asked, “Are you happy?,” I start rapidly running down a list of what’s been happening (things are going well for my children, or not, money is OK, or not…) and what looms ahead (the house is falling apart, the car is falling apart, hell, I am falling apart). That simple question transports me into evaluative head games about the past and the future, until finally I blurt something out. “Yes, I’m OK, sort of.” Happiness is a strangely elusive concept. It means too many things to…

WIRED TO CONNECT The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships Amy Banks, with Leigh Ann Hirschman • Tarcher Perigee Relationships happen between individuals, but also between neural pathways in your brain. Left unchecked, old habits and thinking patterns affect the way you interact with your closest friends and partners. Using a system called “C.A.R.E.” that identifies various brain regions, Banks offers a way to investigate those patterns and lay down new tracks that support healthier, happier relationships. GRATITUDE Oliver Sacks • Knopf Few people can claim to have changed the way large numbers of people think about themselves and their fellow humans. Neurologist Oliver Sacks did so repeatedly. By bringing a child’s curiosity to brains that veered from the “norm,” he asked us to think of them…

Jacqueline Gallo, 35, is an engineer who oversees quality and operational excellence for the Connecticut-based Whitcraft Group, which fabricates components for aircraft engine manufacturers. Twelve years ago, in the wake of heartbreak, she read Dan Millman’s Way of the Peaceful Warrior, which took her on a journey that led to her a “Mindful Leader” workshop with Michael Carroll. She has been practicing mindfulness since then. Whitcraft observes the practice of kaizen, a Japanese management concept of “continuous improvement.” For Gallo, the two practices—mindfulness and kaizen—are interconnected. What brought you to meditation? Crisis. For a long time, I had been very ambitiously pursuing happiness and working tirelessly at it—but it was an external journey of pursuit, one of accumulation, and, in retrospect, avoidance of grief about the destruction of my family…

1 Be present and welcoming Be 100% present. Set aside the usual distractions of things undone from yesterday, things to do tomorrow. Bring all of yourself to the work. Practice hospitality. We all learn most effectively in spaces that welcome us. Welcome others to this place and this work, and presume that you are welcomed. m For more information on the Welcome Table visit the Winter Institute’s website: winterinstitute.org 2 Listen deeply to learn Listen intently to what is said; listen to the feelings beneath the words. Listen to yourself also. Strive to achieve a balance between listening and reflecting, speaking and acting. You will be invited to share in pairs, small groups, and in the large group. The invitation is exactly that. You will determine the extent to which…

Shaun Cassidy, teen singing idol and one of TV’s sexy Hardy Boys, was my soulmate. There I was clad in the kilt and knee socks of a private school girl, lusting over this blue-eyed heartthrob and completely convinced we would fall in love. He would meet my deepest desires (and based on the surprisingly explicit fantasies I penned starring him and me, those desires needed meeting). When he whisked me away to his Beverly Hills mansion I would know and be known. Mated at the soul level, I would never feel alone again. Turns out Shaun was not my soulmate. I look back at the confused girl I was with a mixture of amusement and compassion. I was suffering. I thought my perfect mate existed. You did, too. Back then…

notice what you notice The yellow light has a fleeting life between red and green. In some countries, yellow illuminates both on the way to red, telling you to slow down, and on the way to green, telling you to get into gear or prime your engine. In either case, you need to think: Should I stay or should I go? Inside its modest lifespan lies an amber universe of ambiguity, a moment to think, a time for autonomy and judgment. Red and green lights are all about necessity and conformity. Yellow lights are windows of possibility. Red and green are exclamation points. Yellow is a question mark. Red and green keep us under control and safe from each other; yellow invites exploration and tests character. When we come upon…

Swiss chard is a low-calorie, nutrient-dense vegetable. • Excellent source of vitamins K, A, C, and E, as well as iron, manganese, and copper. • Very good source of fiber, protein, phosphorus, and calcium. Source: whfoods.com For Béatrice Peltre, there is no shortage of ways to prepare healthy, hearty, beautiful chard. To describe Swiss chard as a “green” just isn't right; this leafy vegetable comes in a magnificent spectrum of summer colors, from popsicle pink and creamsicle orange to lemon yellow and cherry red. Chard is a unique vegetable, its wide, watery stems resembling bok choy in taste and texture, while its leaves recall the taste and texture of spinach and beet greens (which belong to the same subspecies as chard). Some people don't like chard, but often that's because…

1 Go Toward the Light “We are programmed physiologically to move toward light. On their own, many hallways feel like dead ends, which is why architects often put a window at the far end of a walkway. If you don’t have the means or desire to renovate, try putting a lighted painting at the end of a hallway. It can change your whole attitude toward that wing of the house.” 2 Add a Touch of Lipstick “By adding a surprisingly strong color to a small area, like window trim, you can make your whole house pop—just like applying lipstick. The color will bring the entire surface to life. Generally, too much of a strong color can be overpowering. But a little taste can go a long way.” 3 Create a…

Over the next several weeks practice noting your Inner Critic as you go about your daily life. Give this voice a nickname if you’d like. 1 Ask yourself, if someone were actually standing next to me and supplying the same commentary, how would I handle it? You’d probably respond with something like, Thanks anyway, but I’m leaving now. 2 Without getting sucked into debate, each time you notice the Inner Critic, take a pause. 3 Breathing in, recognize the voice of criticism, and whatever it’s implying about you or doing to your emotional state. Acknowledge that experience without needing to either banish it or rationalize it. This is how I feel right now: tired and insecure and angry. 4 Breathing out, let go. Instead of wrestling with self-judgment, see it…

Sitting still in quiet and safety, well fed and sheltered, the mind is still quite capable of making an intense mess of the moment. We’re typically taken care of and in no danger while meditating, and yet can’t be peaceful or relaxed on command. The future looms, the past haunts, or the present may seem a complete muddle. If your mind adds that much stress to your life while sitting quietly, what does it do when life is actually confusing, hurtful, or unclear? Many of these confounding habits undermine the mindfulness practice we’re trying to establish to work with them in the first place. If you’re a new meditator, someone has hopefully explained that nothing is going to happen right away, and that you can’t force yourself to have a…

Did you just blow your stack? That’s OK! Even the most calm, cool, and collected among us can lose their temper once in a while. You can’t avoid angry feelings all the time, and for those moments when you let anger get the best of you, there are ways you can cool down more quickly and minimize the damage, both to yourself and to others. Mindfulness is amazing for this—it can be deployed in any moment, offering a fresh start, a return to equanimity, and even creative solutions to problems that seemed impossible in the heat of the emotion. It’s essential to remember, however, that the “miracle” of mindfulness comes from turning toward your experience, not away from it. And, because the experience of anger can be quite unpleasant, humor…