Table of contents for Issue 6 2022 in Cosmopolitan

MAKING A SCENE, by Constance Wu October 4 After spending some time away from the spotlight, the actor lets us in in this emotional memoir. NERD, by Maya Phillips October 11 In these essays, Phillips offers a compelling and insightful way to look at our favorite fandoms. PARTNERS IN CRIME, by Alisha Rai October 18 A they-were-almost-engaged couple get kidnapped together in this wild and funny rom-com. POSTER GIRL, by Veronica Roth October 18 A dystopian thriller in which the former face of an oppressive government has to win back her own freedom.…

Kenneth Cole Kenneth Cole founded the Mental Health Coalition, made up of orgs, brands, and individuals that he says comprise the largest existing platform of collective resources. Kendra Scott Optimism for a new day is the inspo behind the Sun & Moon Charm, which will send 20 percent of proceeds to mental health charities. Kate Spade With a mission to help women and girls gain access to mental health resources, Kate Spade regularly donates funds to groups like the Trevor Project.…

Consider this your formal invitation to join our membership program. We know what you’re thinking—you already have a gazillion subscriptions and your group chat is constantly blowing up, do you really need another thing? Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Also yes. JOIN FOR LESS THAN $2/MONTH Head to cosmopolitan.com/go/joinnow or scan right here: Unlock your membership to get… access to all Cosmopolitan.com content, plus exclusive bonus stories a members-only newsletter in your inbox every week another year’s worth of your favorite magazine just-for-you discounts on lots of pretty things early intel on events, merch, and other perks…

Your full crystals cheat sheet awaits:…

Becca Rea-Tucker knows a little something about baking as a form of therapy. So much so that she literally wrote a book about it. Baking by Feel’s recipes, including what you’re currently looking at/drooling over, are organized by feelings that range from frazzled to just plain feisty. And they’re all entirely delicious. Chocolate Olive Oil Cake MAKES 1 STANDARD LOAF For the Cake 1⅔ cups all-purpose flour⅓ cup Dutch-process cocoa powder1½ teaspoons baking powder1½ teaspoons espresso powder½ teaspoon kosher salt1 cup dark brown sugar2 large eggs1 cup olive oil⅓ cup buttermilk2 teaspoons vanilla extract½ cup boiling water⅔ cup chopped semisweet chocolate 1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line the bottom and two longer sides of a 9" x 5" loaf pan with a piece of parchment paper (we’ll wait…

IF YOUR IDEA OF WELLNESS MEANS EATING WELL, GO TO… Willows Lodge, Woodinville, Washington Staying in Woodinville wine country comes with plenty of perks, like waking up to chicory beignets covered in huckleberry frosting and taking solitude walks in nature after a memorable meal at the Barking Frog restaurant. Bonus: Many of the overnight packages for these cabin-inspired rooms include wine, food, and spa time. Ojo Caliente Mineral Springs Resort & Spa, Ojo Caliente, New Mexico Those blistered shishito peppers you’ll be ordering after soaking in the soothing thermal waters at this desert resort? Grown 1,000 feet away. In fact, nearly everything here is sourced locally, including the herbs in the hydrotherapy hottowel wraps used during spa treatments like the Satva Botanicals Massage. IF YOU’RE INTO NATURE, GO TO… Lake…

Dear Minaa, Recently I’ve been struggling with the racist views of my (white) family. My boomer parents fail to understand the anti-racist movement, and our relationship has become strained because of it. I’ve found that I can’t talk to them without correcting their racist language or getting into a fight about what equal opportunity really means for disenfranchised groups. In 2020 during the height of the BLM protests, my parents would often go off about how—trigger warning—the “rioters are burning down their own neighborhoods,” and “if they don’t care about their own people, homes, businesses, or streets, then why should we care about them?” As a millennial who has educated myself on how systemic racism works, I know this logic is flawed and problematic. But whenever I try to correct…

We’re not saying you should unpack every detail of your personal trauma with a newbie before the apps arrive, but if you’re in therapy, intel shows that it can actually work to your advantage to—casually!—mention it. Before you start coming up with reasons not to, know this: A Hinge study found that 86 percent of singles are more likely to go on a second date with someone who referenced on date one that they see a therapist, but only 7 percent of people are actually comfortable bringing it up. That means there’s a big gap between the thing we all think is attractive and the people who take advantage of it…so be one of them? Here’s why it works and why you should hop to. A Commitment to Self-Improvement Is…

Let’s start with what Ayurveda is not. Despite what your feed may tell you, it’s not a trend, it’s not a fad, and it’s definitely not a novel idea. What it actually is: an ancient science, specifically the science of life (in Sanskrit, “ayur” means life or vital power and “veda” means science or knowledge), that’s been studied and practiced in Indian culture for millennia. “Ayurveda is a holistic way of looking at life that is now being more widely recognized and practiced in the Western world, especially in the beauty space,” says dermatologist Kiran Mian, DO. Some tenets: Your outer beauty is a mirror for what’s going on internally, encouraging you to look deeper and treat an issue like a breakout or a rash not just at the surface…

When your latest project—in this case, your 11th EP, Between 1&2—sells more than 1 million units in preorders before it’s even released, you might not blame anyone for assuming you’re riding high. Especially because, not just in South Korea or the States but in the world over, success and happiness are branded as basically inextricable. If you have the former, you have the latter, right? But for Jihyo, Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu—the nine 23- to 27-year-old stars of TWICE—there’s no reason to maintain that charade, despite K-pop’s reputation for near-inescapable control of its messaging and its reluctance in the past to acknowledge or accommodate the challenges of global fame. All that shifted in 2019 when TWICE’s management company, JYP Entertainment (JYPE), announced that Mina would…

When I was around 11 years old, I started to notice what felt like clouds blocking my vision. Even though I’d been diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis as a baby—and I knew the condition could impact my eyes as well as my joints—I still struggled to understand what was happening. Especially as the clouds got thicker and thicker. The years went on, and my vision had ups and downs. I’d get a corrective surgery and my sight would return, only to start to disappear again soon after. It was exhausting. Then, when I was 17, my doctors put me on an intravenous drug that was supposed to help but ended up making me really sick—dizzy, nauseated, fatigued. By the time I turned 18, I’d decided to stop trying to “fix”…

WHEN YOU WANT YOUR HAIR… Half Up Check your feed—decked-out hair is having a resurgence. But here’s what the pics don’t tell you: Those ornate headbands and dainty pins and clips are just for show. One strong gust of wind—or too-strong marg—and your half-up becomes a whole-down by evening. The unseen hero here is a base of clear elastics that covertly anchors your style in place. If you don’t already have natural texture (hi, braids and curls), rake some texturizing paste through your ends for a finish that feels defined and purposeful—versus just thrown together while leaving the house (even if it probably/definitely was). WHEN YOU WANT YOUR HAIR… All Up Perfection is the enemy of a great updo. What you actually want is controlled chaos: major texture, some loose…

Whenever I’m feeling anxious, my selfcare-as-therapy routine almost always revolves around beauty—a calming skincare regimen, a mood-boosting makeup application. Ironic, because it’s often the beauty industry itself causing my angst (if beauty standards weren’t so unrealistic, I might not need to put on a bright lipstick to feel more confident). This paradox is one reason Stephanie Lee created Selfmade, a company that focuses equally on the physical and mental sides of beauty. Lee’s mission is to reject harmful, outdated beauty norms and instead foster a sense of worth via wellness-minded self-exploration. Ultimately, she says, beauty is about “how we feel—rather than look—when we nurture and trust in our relationship with ourselves.” Selfmade launched in 2020 with three multifunctional skin-and personal-care products: a serum, an exfoliant, and an oil. Each represents…

Be gone, pricey PSLs and meh oat-milk lattes. Brew your own with this here drink gear that will satisfy your aesthetic needs, your coffee craving, and your budget.…

You name it and I’ve likely done it: started a business, spoken at TEDx, written two books. Right before the pandemic, I was even an HR executive at a New York City psychiatric hospital while my leadership development company, Performance ReNEW, worked with some of the biggest brands in the world. I was Natasha Bowman, the goal conqueror. People would ask me, overwhelmed on my behalf, “How can one person do all these things while also being a mother?” I’d shoo away their disbelief, saying I was fortunate to have been gifted with some sort of unexplained superpower—one that allowed me to need very little sleep, be highly creative, and believe that I belonged in any room I chose to be in. Privately, I had a feeling something wasn’t right,…

SUNDAY, 3 P.M. Still riding a high from our fun, easy dinner date, I meet Sean (my 29-year-old blonde finance guy) again at the museum he’s suggested. I pack nips of Fireball in my bag. “You’re entertaining, I’ll give you that,” he laughs, as we clink our minibar-size bottles. Ninety percent of the art here looks like it came out of a fourth grade class. I propose a game: Pick the most atrocious piece, and the other person has to make up its origin story. Sean has fully committed to the bit. He also keeps brushing his arm against mine. We leave and head to dinner nearby and are deeply engrossed in each other when someone stops at our table. “Zara?” Oh my god. It’s Fulvio, the Italian man with…

If it seems like everyone is a little more ~experimental~ lately, it’s because they are. According to a 2021 survey from sex-toy retailer Lovehoney, 51 percent of Americans say they’re more open to experimenting than they were before the pandemic, and for 73 percent of them, that includes an increased interest in kink. Our minds aren’t any dirtier than they’ve been all along—people have been getting off to niche fantasies for eons. But according to psychologist Kate Balestrieri, PsyD, we’re definitely being more open about it. Women in particular are increasingly tossing their (read: society’s) old sexual scripts and embracing more unique desires, resulting in what Balestrieri describes as “more erotic, more dimensional, more sensual, and more kinky sex.” This is obviously good news for your sex life, but being…

TO GET HELP FOR YOURSELF… • Find a licensed therapist near you in the American Psychological Association’s extensive database (Locator.APA.org) or via Psychology Today’s therapist finder (PsychologyToday.com/us/therapists). For providers that focus on marginalized and intersectional communities, visit AyanaTherapy.com or InclusiveTherapists.com. • Try virtual therapy on a platform like BetterHelp, Teladoc, Amwell, or Talkspace. Online therapy can often be more affordable than traditional therapy, whether or not you have insurance. • Join a peer-based support site like Support.TherapyTribe.com or HeyPeers.com to find communities of people dealing with similar mental health struggles. • Message with a volunteer listener at 7Cups.com for free, 24-hour emotional support. • Call the Trevor Project at 866-488-7386 or the Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860 for free LGBTQ+-specific crisis counseling. • If you’re not in crisis but you want…

Call Jane October 28, theaters In a movie that feels eerily like it could be set in the present day (but actually takes place in the ’60s), Elizabeth Banks plays a housewife who joins the Jane Collective, a real organization that helped women find abortions pre–Roe v. Wade. It’s as powerful—and timely—as it sounds while somehow also bringing much-needed laughs along the way. Monarch Now airing, FOX This series led by Susan Sarandon and Trace Adkins is like the Nashville-Empire mashup of your dreams. Siblings fight for the chance to become the next face of their family’s country music dynasty after their mother decides to retire, and no spoilers, but…the lengths they will go to in order to take over make Succession look tame. 1776 Now in previews, American Airlines…

As a seasoned beauty editor, I’m embarrassed to say that I only realized “eau de parfum” translates to “perfume water” while researching this story. Adding to my chagrin: Said realization happened while I was in France…with Dior’s team of expert noses. To be fair (to me), modern fragrances have mostly been made with alcohol instead of water, hence my surprise. But as part of the beauty industry’s effort to become cleaner, perfumers are starting to forgo synthetic ingredients wherever they can. Thus: a return to the literal eau. That’s especially great news because the other thing I learned in France is that water-based scents tend to smell more natural and true to the ingredients. My personal proof was testing Dior’s new water-based version of its iconic J’adore—a fresh floral mix…

1. SWEET PEACH Grill a few fresh slices of Georgia’s finest, then stack them with creamy burrata cheese, a ripe cherry tomato, and a single basil leaf to help bring this salty-sweet caprese full circle. 2. BREAKFAST BITE Think of this treat as the best mini breakfast sandwich of your life minus the bagel. All you need is a bit of smoked salmon, cucumber, tomato, cream cheese, and a teensy little caper. 3. CAKE POP Prep the ripest fruit you can find—strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries are welcome here—and spear with a frozen chunk of cheesecake (psst, storebought is fine). 4. CHOCO CHURRO Scour the frozen-food section until you procure a pack of churros. Pop ’em in the oven, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar, and drizzle your new fave with chocolate sauce.…

You know you really want something when you lie awake at night and play “I will if.” I will call my parents every Sunday if….I will start praying to you, God, if….I will use my in-case-of-emergency credit card only for real emergencies if…. As a college freshman rushing sororities, I finished these sentences with, “…I get into EZN*.” All social cues, everything I saw on campus, from the sisters’ polish to their popularity, told me this sorority was the best sorority. I wanted to prove to myself that I had what it took to get in. On Bid Day, hundreds of us corralled into a giant building on campus. I could hear my heart beat as I was handed my bid card. I tore open the envelope and saw EZN’s…

DARLING DANGLERS Shop from I’mmany’s Flower Power collection (these hoops included) and 30 percent of the net proceeds will be donated to mental health charity Mind. I’mmany mismatched earrings, $115, immany.co.uk FEELINGS ON DECK Fifty percent of net proceeds from these conversation-starting cards goes to the Loveland Foundation, which helps Black women and girls access free therapy. Ban.do card deck, $20, bando.com SAVING FACE Female-founded skincare brand Bubble donates 1 percent of all proceeds from its products—like this cleansing clay mask—to mental health organizations for young people. Bubble face mask, $19, hellobubble.com LIP SERVICE All (!) of the money from sales of this luxe lip cream goes toward the Rare Impact Fund, Selena Gomez’s charity that supports mental health services. Rare Beauty lip cream in Limitless, $20, rarebeauty.com BOXED BLISS…

Clear, Healthy Skin At Any Age Blemfree is designed to clean more naturally, eliminate blemishes & shrink pores. Protect, cleanse, tone & nourish your way to smooth, blemish-tree skin. $ l0 off Primary Package (limited time)! Code: HealthySkinlO at equibal.com How To Prep Skin For Your No-makeup Glow Mad Hippie MicroDerma brosion Facial pairs physical exfo liants, bamboo & volcanic ash with AHAs, including glycolic & mandelic acid, to buff skin & offer a gentle chemical exfoliation that leaves you glowing. Ulta, Whole Foods & madhippie.com Starting To Get Night Sweats? MenoFit's advanced, 28-ingredient formula is a clinically tested, naturally sourced blend al probiotics, herbs, vitamins & minerals for mega-support of hot flashes, night sweats, mood, mental clarity & gut health. menolabs.com This All-in-one Really Is A Game Changer Head…

Leo Whoa, your calendar is packed. You’re making all sorts of new connections—both platonic and romantic—but there’s one problem: Mars Retrograde begins on October 30. You know that saying about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer? That’s your new life motto. Sagittarius Libra season is turning you into a social butterfly. And while all your new friends seem great, free advice: Be picky about who you spend your time with. Starting on October 30, Mars Retrograde is exposing toxic connections. Trust me, they’re there. Virgo Maybe you got ghosted or you just drifted apart—whatever happened, there are some words left unsaid between you and your ex. Answer their DMs and talk it out once and for all. Afterward, you can finally move on (like, for real). Or maybe…