Table of contents for November 25, 2019 in Globe

PALS are fearful over the health of roly-poly Girls star Lena Dunham, who’s been crippled by a rare genetic condition that forces her to use a cane and threatens to kill her before she reaches 50. Lena, 33, was spotted hobbling in slippers with her cane and her right hand bandaged following a doctor’s appointment on Oct. 31. The brave actress faces a lifetime as an invalid because of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome — a devastating condition that attacks the skin, joints and blood vessels and can damage organs, say sources. “There are days she can’t get out of bed and her joints are basically useless and her legs can’t support her,” reveals an insider. “She’s gained even more weight, and it’s put more pressure on her unstable legs.” Lena courageously tried…

GOLD DIGGER Meghan Markle schemed to snare and marry Prince Harry before she even met him! In November 2013, the now-duchess, who was appearing on her American TV legal drama Suits, came to London as an unknown to drum up publicity for herself — and find a rich husband, sources say. Attending a charity bash with a male model, she gushed: “Do you know any famous guys? I’m single and I love English men!” Less than three years later, in July 2016, Harry says he and Meghan were set up on a blind date by “a mutual friend.” Playing dumb, Meghan claims she didn’t even know who Harry was. “Because I’m from the States, you don’t grow up with the same understanding of the royal family,” she says. But Kate Hind,…

REESE’S VERY LEGAL SHOE EXTRAVAGANZA! Wily actress REESE WITHERSPOON walked away from the Legally Blonde flicks that shot her to stardom with all the adorable duds she wore — including a bunny outfit and dozens of pairs of costly designer shoes! The 43-year-old star, who played sorority girl turned lawyer Elle Woods, says she made sure she had them included in her contract for the first 2001 flick. “I kept the whole wardrobe, including 77 pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes,” Witherspoon says. Ironically, she “didn’t touch them until [the flick’s] 15th anniversary and then had a lot of fun trying them on with my daughter [Ava]. Some fit and some didn’t.” GOING WILDE OVER GAY KISS OLIVIA WILDE, whose partner is Horrible Bosses actor JASON SUDEIKIS, is flying high after…

FORMER president Barack Obama and wife Michelle will be shocked to learn their wild child daughter Malia has been secretly engaged to her hunky British boyfriend Rory Farquharson for months — and plans to tie the knot with a huge royal-type wedding after graduating Harvard next year. So far, Barack and Michelle, who insiders say are already upset with the 21-year-old’s out-of-control partying, are totally in the dark, but Malia has spilled the beans to pals. “Malia told friends they got engaged over the summer,” tattles an insider. “She’s super excited. She has the ring, but she’s too scared to wear it in public. “She’s confided to classmates they’re going to have a big wedding in Britain, like Prince Harry and his American wife, Meghan.” A source says Malia is…

BATMAN put the bite on The Munsters, swooping in to steal its audience and sending the creepy comedy to the scrap heap, says actor Butch Patrick. The quirky sitcom about a monster family was a screaming hit when it debuted in 1964. But two years later, Adam West’s campy caped crusader put a stake in its heart, claims 66-year-old Butch, who played Eddie on the cult classic. “Batman came along and took our ratings away,” whines the former kid star.…

BRAIN-DEAD bozo William Berry stabbed a woman because he feared she’d feed him to zombies, say South Carolina cops. According to authorities, the 29-year-old suspect — who was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol — had an unruly altercation with a gal before he knifed her multiple times in the back! Deputies say when confronted, Berry admitted he “poked someone” because she was mean to him and was trying to feed him to zombies! Police report they’ve recovered the blade believed to have been used in the crime and Berry has been charged with attempted murder and possession of a weapon. There were no details on the condition of the woman.…

JOY turned to horror for an Iowa family when a homemade gender-reveal device acted as a deadly explosive — instantly killing a relative, investigators say. According to authorities, 56-year-old Pamela Kreimeyer died when a flying chunk of metal hit her head during the failed party stunt, which was meant to announce the sex of her son Brad Kriemeyer’s unborn child. “[The family] placed gunpowder in the bottom of a homemade stand that was welded to a metal plate,” a Marion County Sheriff’s Office statement reveals. “A hole had been drilled in the side for a fuse, a piece of wood was placed on top of the gunpowder, and colored powder was placed on top of the board. Tape was then wrapped over the top of the metal tubing, inadvertently creating…

FRIENDS of Married… with Children star Katey Sagal fear for her wellbeing after her hot-tempered hubby, Kurt Sutter, was axed from his FX biker drama Mayans M.C. for being “abusive.” Sources say Katey, 65, married 15 years, walks on eggshells around the writer-producer, 59, who was canned for being a self-described “abrasive d**k.” “Kurt can be a horrible man to be around, and it’s his way or the highway at work — so God only knows what he’s like at home,” snitches an insider. Katey insists she can handle her moody mate and is “telling everyone she’s fine and they’re fine,” says the source. But “everyone’s checking in on her now that it’s come out what a tyrant he is,” the insider reveals. Katey’s marriage to Kurt is her longest.…

RAPPING junkie Eminem was popping pills and hooked on heroin — until he was finally saved from his drug hell by Elton John! The 47-year-old Detroit rapper, whose real name is Marshall Mathers, plunged into a drug nightmare after his pal and collaborator DeShaun “Proof” Holton was murdered in 2006, according to a just-released bio, Not Afraid: The Evolution of Eminem. “Some days I would just lay in bed and take pills and cry,” he says. He was rushed to a hospital after taking “four bags of heroin,” says the book, authored by Anthony Bozza, before turning to older rocker Elton, who became “the perfect mentor to help guide Marshall. “The two started on a program of weekly check-ins and grew very close.”…

PRINCE WILLIAM’S sister-in-law, Pippa Middleton Matthews, confesses she uses a bizarre “laying on the hands” treatment to keep her year-old son Arthur’s brain working properly. The 36-year-old beauty, who wed Arthur’s dad, James Matthews, in 2017, confesses she began the unscientific “cranial osteopathy” method, where the skull is manipulated to “rebalance” the body when her son was seven months old. While many medical experts claim the therapy is practiced by quacks, Duchess Kate’s kid sister insists it’s been “calming for him. “Soon after Arthur was born last year, I heard a few mums talking about seeing a cranial osteopath. “It’s a popular alternative therapy for newborns, particularly those who have had a traumatic birth, are unsettled or have trouble sleeping.” Pippa insists the method helps “relax and promote sleep, digestion…

SCREEN superstar Brad Pitt can buy anything he wants with his staggering $250 million fortune — but the penny-pinching member of Hollywood royalty is king of the freeloaders! In particular, the Ocean’s Eleven actor gets boxes of clothes and accessories delivered to his house free of charge from the biggest fashion houses that want him photographed in their rags — and he doesn’t bother to send them back! “He’s always been a cheapskate and a miser with his money, but now he’s also become a total tightwad,” says an insider. “Brad makes no apologies for it either. “He’s constantly bagging tons of high-priced designer clothes for absolutely nothing — and they’re not just last year’s castoffs either.” The nifty, custom suits, mostly from Armani, with a few Tom Ford options,…

BUBBLY Marie Osmond and 61-year-old brother Donny wrapped up their Las Vegas residency this month. But the Paper Roses singer isn’t folding — the ’70s TV star has already made yet another small-screen comeback on The Talk. Here are ten things you don’t know about the chatfest co-host. 1 Her first name is Olive; her middle name is Marie. 2 The lifelong Mormon turned down the part of Sandy Olsson in Grease because she objected to the character going from a goody-goody to a sexy hottie. 3 In 1978, she and Donny starred in the musical comedy Goin’ Coconuts, which bombed at the box office. But their soundtrack earned platinum status, selling more than 1 million copies. 4 She shot a pilot for the sitcom Marie, which aired on ABC…

TAKING acetaminophen during pregnancy risks boosting a child’s odds of ADHD and autism, according to new research. The odds of these developmental disorders were more than twice as high in children exposed to the painkiller near the time of birth. Researchers reached their conclusion after testing blood from the mother and the umbilical cord soon after birth. Two previous studies have also suggested a link between acetaminophen in pregnancy and ADHD and autism in children, but they were based only on the mothers’ recollection of taking the painkiller. All three studies show “prenatal acetaminophen use is consistently associated with an increased risk of developmental disabilities, including ADHD and possibly [autism],” says senior study author Dr. Xiaobin Wang of Johns Hopkins University.…

ARIES March 21 - April 20 A loved one’s puzzling behavior is explained under the Scorpio new moon, and it puts a grin on your face, Ram! Midweek, look to reconnect with a former flame — but not for romance! The sparks that fly bring a financial surprise or offer to work together! The bargain spotted Saturday is as good as it seems! GEMINI May 22 - June 21 Oh dear, an impulsive decision has led to an embarrassing double booking for Thanksgiving, and now you need to tell someone you can’t attend after all. Who to choose, Twin? The better cook, silly! Later, hit the mall for big sales. You’ll be able to spruce up your wardrobe for practically pennies! LEO July 23 - Aug. 23 Monday finds you…

A CALIFORNIA school district flunked out big-time when it printed a phone sex call-in number on ID cards for middle school students! The goof happened at the New Vista Middle School in L.A. County — and it left many parents furious! One mom said her daughter dialed the number for kicks and spilled the beans on the steamy things she heard. “I was just flabbergasted,” says Janene Lavelle. “I was a little upset, yes.” The back of the school’s ID badges lists several emergency and resource numbers. The hubba-hubba happened after two digits were transposed for a suicide-prevention hotline. School administrators quickly collected the IDs and printed new ones. “We are very sorry for this error, and we are working hard to correct it,” the Lancaster School District said in…

AT AGE 70, Richard Gere isn’t wasting any time building a family with new young wife Alejandra Silva — he’s knocked up his latest Pretty Woman, who’s half his age, just nine months after the birth of their first child! According to sources in her Spanish homeland, the 36-year-old knockout, who gave birth to their son, Alexander, in February, will be dropping another bundle “next spring.” The white-haired hunk also has a son, Homer, 19, with second wife Carey Lowell, while Alejandra has a boy, Albert, 6, with ex Govind Friedland.…

IRON MAIDEN frontman Bruce Dickinson faces losing a huge chunk of his $116 million fortune after dumping his longtime wife, Paddy, for a chesty blond groupie. The 61-year-old heavy-metal honcho kicked his second wife to the curb after 29 years and three kids and is shacking up with fitness guru Leana Dolci, 46, in Paris. On her Facebook page, superfan Leana describes herself as “a flower child” and gushes: “I love the days that begin with you next to me. In bed. Naked.”…

A NEW Jersey woman has sued a swanky country club claiming a waiter ruined her purse by pouring red wine over it. Maybe not a big deal — except it was a $30,000 model from fancy French maker Hermès! Maryana Beyder says her insurance refused to pay up because they wouldn’t believe it was so expensive. PEBBLE-brained thieves stole a oneton boulder known as the Wizard Rock from the Prescott National Forest in Arizona — and then returned it! “We are thrilled,” says ranger Sarah Clawson of the popular landmark, which is black streaked with white quartz. A 10-year-old boy in Glastonbury, Conn., was stunned when he received a jury summons — because he thought it meant he had to clean up his town! Nick Dondero’s parents then told him…

SWASHBUCKLING train wreck Johnny Depp will be dead by Christmas! That’s the fear of the movie pirate’s pals and handlers — who are terrified Depp has only weeks to live unless he cuts back on his rock ’n’ roll lifestyle! Sources tell GLOBE the 56-year-old actor-musician has been inhaling hooch like water as his vicious court battle with ex-wife Amber Heard continues to rage! “Johnny was still ordering vodka to his room by the bottle at 3 a.m. the night before a recent red-carpet event,” tattles an insider. “He was gulping the booze during the event from a coffee cup. It was wild! His security guys had to try and keep him steady on his feet.” The Pirates of the Caribbean star announced that he didn’t like his hotel room,…

FAR from the glitz of Hollywood, Felicity Huffman has been plunged into the lives of troubled teens as she works off her sentence in the college bribery scandal. In addition to 11 days in the slammer, the 56-year-old former Desperate Housewives star, who pleaded guilty to paying $15,000 to rig daughter Sophia’s college entrance exam, must pay a $30,000 fine and complete 250 hours of community service. And so, just a week after jail release, she was seen toting muffin pans in a plastic container and doing other tasks for the Teen Project, a center in L.A. for homeless girls, some of them victims of sex trafficking. Instead of a gown and jewels worn at red carpet events, Felicity wore jeans, a black sweater, flats and sunglasses, and her hair was…

SINGER RICKY MARTIN and husband JWAN YOSEF had a boy named RENN MARTIN-YOSEF. They’re also parents, all by surrogate, to fraternal twin sons VALENTINO and MATTEO, 11, and daughter LUCIA, born last year. It’s a first child for country singer KANE BROWN, 26, and wife KATELYN, 27, who welcomed baby girl KINGSLEY ROSE. HGTV’s Hidden Potential star JASMINE ROTH, 35, and husband BRETT ROTH are expecting their first baby in April. EMMA ROBERTS’ ex-boyfriend and American Horror Story co-star EVAN PETERS, 32, is dating singer HALSEY, 25. JONATHAN CHEBAN, a.k.a. KIM K’s BFF in Keeping Up with the Kardashians, legally changed his name to FOODGOD. Michael Jackson’s son PRINCE MICHAEL JACKSON II, 17, is no longer called BLANKET. He now goes by BIGI. ROSIE O’DONNELL, 57, and her cop fiancée,…

MOVIE mobster Joe Pesci was tangled in a real-life Mafia-style hit after his ex-wife’s estranged hubby Garrett Warren was riddled with slugs on his own doorstep in a bloody, murder-for-hire plot. Now playing Mafia kingpin Russell Bufalino in the hit flick The Irishman, about the killing of union boss Jimmy Hoffa, Pesci was grilled by cops because his ex Claudia “Marti” Haro was living at his L.A. mansion with her year-old daughter, Kyla, shortly after a nasty split with Warren. As stuntman Warren — shot in the eye and three times in the body — won his battle for life, Pesci was questioned about Marti, who was a suspect. The murder attempt was at Warren’s West lake Village, Calif., home, where he was staying with his mom, Joan, at 8:30…

BILL MURRAY may soon have a new gig — at P.F. Chang’s! “I did fill out an application at P.F. Chang’s at the Atlanta airport because I think that’s one of the great places,” the Caddyshack cutup deadpanned on Amy Schumer’s podcast. When asked what job he wanted, Bill answered: “Just to work there. It looks like they’re having the best time.” The restaurant chain responded on Twitter, writing: “Bill, you’re hired. When can you start?”…

SPANISH stud Antonio Banderas says galpal Nicole Kimpel saved his life — by happy accident — when he suffered a heart attack in 2017. The 59-year-old Pain and Glory star reveals the night before he was stricken his model girlfriend, 39, had picked up a bottle of aspirin for a headache she was having. “The next morning, when I started having the symptoms and I clearly knew what was going on, she put one of those aspirins inside of my tongue and that saved my life,” explains Banderas. “I was living life in a not nice way … I was a smoker, which was probably one of the most stupid things I have ever done,” he confides. “So I had a second chance, and some stuff changed in my life…

JENNIFER ANISTON still has a killer bod at age 50 except for one issue — saggy knees — and she’s ready to go under the knife to fix ’em! “She loves her body and she’s really proud of the way she looks, but she hates the excess skin on her knees and thinks it’s aging her,” dishes an insider. Although Jen’s rep insists the star is not concerned about how her knees look, the source says the flaw is especially upsetting because the Friends hottie “adores flashing a bit of leg.” She’s tried exercises and beauty creams to tighten the excess skin, but her knees “still look all wrinkly, and that may look good on an elephant — but not an A-list star!” squeals the source. “Jen’s talking to experts…

WITH all that’s going on in the nation’s capital these days, film fans often turn their minds to Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, the 1939 classic about D.C. corruption that made JAMES STEWART a major star and earned him the first of his five Academy Award nominations. Stewart, known as Jimmy to his friends, plays a just-appointed U.S. senator who stumbles into a swamp of graft and, helped by savvy assistant Clarissa Saunders — played by JEAN ARTHUR — wins out despite many obstacles. The flick, an unusual mix of comedy and drama, was helmed by famed director FRANK CAPRA and is included on many lists of greatest movies of all time. Jimmy went on to win his only Best Actor Oscar the next year, for The Philadelphia Story.…