Table of contents for August 6, 2018 in Globe

BROKEN-DOWN BLAKE SCARING GWEN! Trouble in paradise for BLAKE SHELTON and GWEN STEFANI. The 48-year-old blond pop babe fears the country music hunk — who recently took a spill on stage — is falling apart physically and won’t have enough oomph to be a dad to the baby she’s desperate to make. The 42-year-old The Voice coach already has a bad back, gout and is losing his hearing from years of loud concerts, insiders dish. “Gwen says he could solve his health issues by changing a few things — like wearing protective earplugs, eating better, and stretching and doing some light exercise,” says a source. “She would love to have a child or two with him as soon as possible, and the last thing she wants is a deaf, crippled…

PARTY girl Paris Jackson confirmed she plays for both teams and insists, “I came out when I was 14!” When asked online if she’s bisexual, the wild child daughter of the late Michael Jackson responded: “That’s what you guys call it, so I guess — but who needs labels?” The 20-year-old actress, who has been caught publicly smooching catwalk queen Cara Delevingne and pal Caroline D’Amore since ditching drummer Michael Snoddy last year, gushes, “I just love people for people!”…

EX-NBA star Charles Oakley is a big, tall cheat! That’s the accusation of the Nevada Gaming Board — after Oakley was busted at a Las Vegas casino for allegedly trying to welsh on a bet at a blackjack table! The former New York Knicks legend is “suspected of adding to or reducing his wager on a gambling game after the outcome was known,” according to officials from the gaming board. Oakley, 54, tried to pull back a $100 chip after realizing he was going to lose, investigators claim. The July 8 incident at the Cosmopolitan was recorded, and security there stepped in. Oakley, who refuses comment, was booked at the Clark County Detention Center. He faces up to six years in prison if convicted of fraud at a gaming establishment.…

EEK, cellulite!!! Docs say there’s no surefire cure, but gals can make those lousy lumps look better. No one knows what causes dimpled butts or cottage cheese thighs, but several treatments can reduce it, says Dr. Anne Chapas of Manhattan’s Union Square Laser Dermatology. Commercial laser and body contouring sessions shrink fat cells, increase blood flow and thicken the skin, and “make cellulite look better after about three or four treatments,” she says. Other treatments “attack fibrous bands” that result in cellulite dimples. These procedures use lasers or needles like Cellfina to go beneath the skin and break down the fibers, freeing fat cells and allowing them to smooth out. While the fibers won’t return after treatment, new ones can form, so patients need to return to the doctor to…

ARIES March 21 - April 20 Put on your party hat while the moon’s in Gemini on Monday, Ram! It’s the perfect time to meet friends — old and new — and lovers! But lay low later, when verbal attempts at humor fail and people take offense too easily. The check you’ve been awaiting arrives; depositing it into savings is boring but wise! GEMINI May 22 - June 21 Hard work on the job or at home has you feeling run down, Twin. Spend time in the sun to perk you up fast! Be alert when someone new tries to meddle in your affairs Thursday. A Venus-Saturn clash warns of trouble ahead from busybodies! Stock up on home goods at a Saturday sale to save big. LEO July 23 -…

A BLOODTHIRSTY jaguar escaped his New Orleans zoo habitat and went on a killing rampage — savagely slaughtering six other animals and fatally injuring three more before being captured. An Audubon Nature Institute official called the spree “the biggest tragedy we’ve had” in the facility’s 100-year history. Officials say the big cat named Valerio escaped at 7:20 a.m. and over the next hour killed a fox, an emu and four alpacas while injuring several other critters. The feline was finally sedated by a team of vets and caged. Officials believe the three-year-old went wild to assert territorial dominance and won’t be put to sleep. “Nothing’s going to happen to the jaguar,” says zoo general curator Joel Hamilton. “Unfortunately, it was doing what jaguars do.”…

TUBBY Army vet Dean King was blindsided by a bull — and gored TWICE — while shopping for a used car in Tracy, Calif. Doctors tell King he’s lucky to have survived the savage attack — and credit his beer belly for saving his life! CHEAPSKATES Christian Hale, 20, and Kevin Slone, 24, hopped a train for a no-cost ride outside Cleveland, Ohio, but were forced to call cops for help when the CSX freighter’s speed made it too dangerous to jump off. The guys were arrested after a 60-mile trip and got another free lift — to jail! HONDA is building the world’s fastest lawn mower, a 189-horsepower beast that goes from zero to 60 in just three seconds and tops out at 150 mph! Amazingly, the monster can…

SICKLY Selena Gomez hit the bottle after being blindsided by former flame Justin Bieber getting engaged to model Hailey Baldwin. The lupus-stricken singer, who underwent a kidney transplant last year and checked into rehab twice after splitting with Justin in 2012 and 2017, was downing booze in NYC on July 9 — two days after Justin popped the question. Rheumatologist Dr. Robert Fafalak, who has not treated Selena, cautions alcohol could worsen her condition, “potentially threatening her life.”…

A REPUTED Bonanno crime family associate survived a botched mob hit that was caught on camera! In a scene straight out of The Godfather, a lone gunman ambushed racketeer Salvatore “Sally Daz” Zottola outside his sprawling $2 million Bronx home on July 11. Zottola, 41, was hospitalized in serious but stable condition after being shot in the chest and right hand. He also suffered a graze wound to the head, authorities say. “We want to thank everyone for their kind words, but you can go f---yourself,” a Zottola family member barked outside the Jacobi Medical Center, where Sally was hospitalized. It’s believed Zottola knew his assailant — but the wise guy was refusing to cooperate with the FBI. Investigators suspect the attack was a bloody message to Sally’s father, Sylvester…

STARSTRUCK Reese Witherspoon couldn’t hide her glee when she met Dolly Parton, calling the 72-year-old Jolene singer her inspiration. The Big Little Lies actress, 42, featured her fellow Southern belle as the first guest on her new talk show, Shine On. “I wanna just tell you, Dolly, you’ve inspired me so much. You continue to inspire me, I’ve always wanted to be more like you,” Reese gushed. “Kindness just comes off of you because it’s real.” Geez!…

Sex bug making gals infertile! ✚ A STEALTHY sex bug that causes female infertility is growing resistant to drugs and could spark a public health crisis, experts warn. When misdiagnosed as chlamydia, Mycoplasma genitalium (MG) has been treated with the wrong medication, which has helped the bacteria mutate and become harder to kill. “MG has the potential to become a superbug within a decade, resistant to standard antibiotics,” cautions Dr. Paddy Horner of the British Association for Sexual Health and HIV. The wrong bra causes headaches ✚ WEARING the wrong size bra can be a real pain — and may even trigger headaches! “A poorly fitting bra offers a lack of support, which then means the neck and upper back muscles are having to work harder to support the weight…

PARTRIDGE Family star Danny Bonaduce’s ex-wife says the addict redhead tried to run her over with his car when she attempted to stop him from scoring drugs! Gretchen Hillmer Bonaduce, the actor’s second wife, makes the shocking claim in her explosive tell-all, Surviving Agent Orange — and her ex doesn’t deny it! In the memoir, Gretchen, 52, dishes dirt on their rocky 17-year marriage, including the cheating and drug apart. She claims the washed-up kid star, who played trouble-maker Danny Partridge on the hit ’70s series, would turn into a “mental case” when he drugs and booze. To curb her of his cash and only doled a valet for parking his car! But her attempts to rein in the radio host backfired, when she says Danny picked a fight just…

ELLEN DEGENERES’ marriage is on the rocks after wife Portia de Rossi rejected her request to adopt a child and start a family! Now sources tell GLOBE the couple are speeding toward a $400 million divorce! “Their relationship has weathered a few storms, but Ellen always felt adopting a child would put all the broken pieces together,” spills an insider. “After a lot of convincing, Ellen finally got Portia on board. They were looking into adoption agencies, and Portia was even shopping for baby furniture and reading parenting books. “Then something changed. Portia’s always had a temper and when she felt Ellen was neglecting her, she refused to proceed with the adoption plan.” Talk show queen Ellen, 60, even confessed her heartbreak to Jerry Seinfeld on his Netflix show, Comedians…

A CENTURY after Russia’s last czar was executed by communist radicals, exhaustive new DNA tests have confirmed his remains were found in a remote Urals city. Czar Nicholas II, his wife, Alexandra, and their five children were shot dead by the Bolsheviks on July 16 and 17, 1918. But their fate was shrouded in mystery. Now, genetic tests will allow the Russian Orthodox Church to bury the family with full royal rites. The church disputed earlier genetic results but announced the new tests “confirmed the remains found in 1979 belonged to the former Emperor Nicholas II, his family members and members of their entourage” after his father’s corpse was exhumed. The Russian church made Nicholas a saint — and has declared his bones holy relics.…

BILLY BUSH, axed from his Today co-host gig after the DONALD TRUMP-Access Hollywood tape surfaced two years ago, is being slapped with divorce papers by wife SYDNEY DAVIS. She wants joint custody of their teen daughters. Congrats to married rappers CARDI B and OFFSET. They’re parents of new baby girl KULTURE KIARI. Mission: Impossible beauty REBECCA FERGUSON has a new baby girl — but she hasn’t revealed the daddy! She already has son ISAC, 11, with ex-boyfriend LUDWIG HALLBERG. Swimsuit model KATE UPTON is preggers. Thrilled dad-to-be is Astros pitcher JUSTIN VERLANDER, her hubby. GERALDO RIVERA’s boy CRUZ, 30, pleaded guilty to choking galpal MEGHAN BURKE, 26, during a spat. His record will be erased if he’s clean for a year. Real Housewives of New York City hottie LUANN DE…

TOM CRUISE has been called everything from a box office superstar to a space cult poster boy — thanks to his devotion to the controversial religion Scientology. Now 56, Tom is starring in Fallout, this summer’s installment of the Mission: Impossible franchise, which hits theaters July 27. Here are ten things you don’t know about the Top Gun actor. 1 Raised a devout Catholic, Tom planned to become a priest and attended a seminary school as a teen — until he got kicked out for underage drinking. 2 Cher had a fling with Tom before he found fame and named him as one of her “top five” lovers. 3 Tom admits as a child he was a “functional illiterate,” and credits Scientology’s teachings for helping him overcome the learning disability…

MEAN Girl Lindsay Lohan wants to adopt a Syrian baby girl! But pals fear the Freaky Friday star — who’s been in rehab and spent time in jail after being busted for DUI — is not fit for motherhood! The 32-year-old actress has also cycled through a string of rocky romances and tried to escape her troubled past by fleeing to Europe in 2015. “Lindsay’s made Dubai her home and she’s immersing herself in the culture, studying Arabic, the Koran and even dressing in traditional ethnic clothing in an attempt to turn over a new leaf,” says a source. “She also started volunteering at Syrian refugee camps in Turkey, where she met hundreds of young children who were victims of war. “She was touched by the way they reached out…

A SMALL butterfly-shaped gland at the base of your neck, the thyroid secretes hormones that control everything from your appetite to your temperature. Here are nine signs your thyroid isn’t working properly. 1. Smoother, thinner skin, which can cause increased redness in the hands and face. 2. Quickly losing major weight or gaining a stubborn five pounds. 3. Temperature problems, such as excess sweating or suffering from the chills. 4. Emotional issues, like anxiety or depression. 5. A feeling of drunkenness when you haven’t indulged. 6. Excessive sleepiness or lack of energy. 7. Frequent bathroom breaks or constipation. 8. Bulging eyes, which is a hallmark of Graves’ disease, an underactive thyroid condition. 9. Thinning hair on the scalp or at the outer edges of the eyebrows.…

IN AN incredibly risky maneuver, an Oregon National Guard Chinook helicopter plucked a suicidal climber and the six folks sent to rescue him to safety using a “pinnacle landing,” where the pilot stuck the back end of the chopper against the snowy peak of Mt. Hood while keeping the aircraft’s front aloft. The drama unfolded after a 27-year-old Texas man — whose name was withheld by officials — climbed the 11,249-foot mountain the previous day intending to kill himself. But at the top, “he had a change of heart and called 911,” says Scott Lucas of Oregon’s Office of Emergency Management. A six-member rescue team was sent up the sheer rock face to bring the depressed dude to safety. But warming temperatures melted snow and ice — and the surface…

TEARFUL country star Jana Kramer bared her pain over four tragic miscarriages in an emotional online video. In the clip, the 34-year-old Dammit singer — who’s expecting once again with ex NFL star hubby Mike Caussin in November — openly weeps as she recalls her long IVF journey and fourth heartbreaking loss, which was a little boy. Though pregnant Jana says she’d like a baby sister for daughter Jolie, two, she admits, “At this point, I just want a healthy baby.” It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.—Ralph Waldo Emerson…